These Little Changes

I haven't posted in a couple weeks.  That is NOT like me at all. 

I usually have lots to say.

But I got in this slump last week.... well the past few weeks actually.  I had no motivation to get anything done.  I haven't put my all into my workouts.  I have NOT been on track with my nutrition.  I am doing the 3 Day Refresh again.. but actually contemplated giving up on the last day.

Ugh! And the worst part is... I have been body shaming myself.

WHAT?!

You read that right.  Me.... the positive one... the one that motivates and inspires others to not be hard on themselves, to push through the rough patches, the one that tells others that you will have down times and to look for the good things.

But I have spent A LOT of time over the past week hating what I was seeing in the mirror.  I was having a war with myself.  What was going on in my head sounded something like this....

"Oh my GOSH Joslin!  Where did this roll come from?  What's up with the back fat?  Hey!!  You feel your pants getting tighter don't you??"

"STOP IT Joslin!  Just stop.  You have come so far.  It's ok.  You have relaxed on your nutrition a little, it's alright, you will get back on track."

Well, you know what.  That first voice won out.  I have been so disappointed with the little weight gain I have had over the summer that I let the body shaming back in.  And it's been terrible.  I should NOT be talking to myself like this.

Of COURSE I am not going to have the big weight losses and the major changes in my body anymore.  I'm there.  I have lost the big amount I needed to lose. Now it's maintaining. It's the little changes.  I'm not going to get into a smaller size clothing.  I'm not going to have any more dramatic before and after pictures.  But these little changes going on... the muscle definition and growth.  The lean body mass.  The inside health that I cannot even see... that isn't tangible to me. 

These little changes.

They are what I need to focus on.

So, why am I telling you all this?  Because you need to know the real me.  The me that still beats herself up.  The me that isn't always the positive one.  The one that has been slacking.  But, I am also the one that has forced myself to look at the little changes.  The one that has taken back control of the over indulging and the one-beer-a-night nights.

Are you talking to yourself like this?  Or are you celebrating the little changes?

Look in the mirror.  Look PAST the trouble areas... cause we all have them... and look at these little changes.  Smile at yourself.  Put one foot in front of the other.  And take each one of those steps at a time.  You won't have time to body shame yourself if you are busy getting your workouts in, being active and eating right.  You just will have time for, these little changes.