Still the Same

Day in and day out I am reminded about bullying.  It. Is. Everywhere.

Think our kids are the only ones that get bullied?  THINK AGAIN.

People are so mean.  And now with the age of social media and anonymous posting, people can get away with saying pretty much anything they want with no repercussions.  It is sad really... thinking that if you can just get through being a kid without losing it, that your adult years will be great, that there will be no bullying anymore, there will be no name calling, no making fun, no belittling.  But it doesn't stop.  Unfortunately, I think it just gets worse.

  • Shaming someone for all their hard work.
  • Calling names.
  • Whispering behind backs.
  • Gossiping.
  • Questioning parenting skills when you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
  • The list could go on and you KNOW it.

So are these bullies the same as the ones we encountered in high school, middle school and even elementary school?  Did they just never grow out of it?  I really am not sure.

I want to tell you something about being bullied... you will NEVER forget it.  You will never forget how it feels.  Now, I am not saying I am perfect and I didn't throw stones at glass houses when I was younger... but I knew that it was wrong and ALWAYS felt such shame after doing it.  Like it was the "cool" thing to do but God was telling me it wasn't.  I distinctly remember going to Catholic church right before Lent and confessing to the Priest that I had said mean things about someone I knew.  I felt HORRIBLE about it.  Anyhow... getting off track here.

When I was a senior in high school, I was voted "Most Self Confident."  I was proud of that title even though I was laughed at for it... people would say to me that it meant I was full of myself and cocky.  Maybe that is what they saw.  That is what they said.  But what I was FEELING was totally different. I was confident in myself.  That I KNEW I was a child of God and that my family loved me and I had REAL friends who never judged. And if I didn't have that confidence in high school I am not sure I could have handled the daily bullying that I got.  Imagine walking into your school's cafeteria and seeing your name followed by "is a SLUT" in GIANT thick black sharpie on the wall... I mean, like taking up an ENTIRE wall.  Imagine that.  (Now I don't need to defend my chastity but let's just say I was FAR from what it said on the wall.)

Imagine. It.  Close your eyes.  Walk into your high school cafeteria and see that.  It was awful. SIXTEEN years later and I can close my eyes and see it VIVIDLY and can still feel today the emotions I felt then... just as raw and just as fresh.  So if you think for ONE SECOND that your words, your shaming, your gossiping, your whispers are silly and meaningless.... THINK AGAIN.

I know that I wrote a blog last month about mean girls and growing up... but like I said I am reminded often about the constant bullying that goes on as adults and it is ASTOUNDING.   Just this week a friend of mine posted some results on Facebook about her weight loss... and guess what!?  She was shamed for it.  Can you believe that!?  UNBELIEVABLE. 

Can't we all just get along and say nice things?  What do you think would happen if just once a day you lifted someone up with your words or actions?  If you are already doing it, then great... do it more often.  Think about the ripple effect from that one.  I have seen that video and you probably have too, that floats around the internet about how one person holding a door for someone else trickles down throughout the day... people seeing other people doing and saying nice things definitely has a HUGE impact.  Just as the pay it forward movement does... and paying for the person behind you at the coffee shop.  Just as saying a kind word to a stranger... or hell, to a friend. 

We don't have to be the same people from our past.  We can make the decision TODAY to start making good in the world.  So when you think you about to say something mean, bite your tongue.  Be intentional before you speak.  No one is perfect, I realize that, but if you are about to go out of your way to say something or do something that doesn't need to be said or done, just DON'T.

Are you still the same?

~Joslin (channeling Taylor Swift :))


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