Pick Your Hard

I have not posted on this blog in a few weeks.  So not like me.  I realized it was because life got hard.  And when life gets hard, I shut down. 

Today, I really just needed to STOP that cycle.  I have been allowing myself to use "hard" as an excuse to not get anything done.  I keep moving tasks from one day to the next day on my planner because... it just felt too "hard" to get it done that day.  I keep telling myself I have nothing to write about here because... it's just too "hard" to think of something creative or mind blowing to share with you.  I don't want to post something just to post something.  And even that was too "hard" for me to deal with.  I'm spiraling down and down and the only way I know how to stop this, is to just STOP it. 

I know.  Easier said than done. But I realized today, that I'm really not alone here.... and sometimes you just have to pick your hard.  Pick it, tackle it, finish it and move on.  Move on more accomplished.  Move on with a little pep in your step.  But just pick it and do it.

So.  I picked my hard.  I chose to share a little piece of my story that I don't think I have ever told before.... and that is letting you in on a little secret. 

People ask me all the time, "Joslin, how long will it take before I love to work out like you do?"

Truth?  I hate to workout.  I hate getting sweaty.  I hate having to take the time.  And I hate the pain.  But you know what... I love the feeling afterward.  The feeling of accomplishment.  The feeling that I picked something hard to do, and I did it.  I just.... have to pick my hard.

Before fitness became part of my life, it was hard.  Life. 

It was hard to look in the mirror.  Period.  Like... hard.  I hated EVERY SINGLE THING about myself.  I hated my haircut.  I hated my double chin.  I hated the rolls that I had acquired over the years.  I hated the stretch marks and my c-section scar.  I hated the cellulite (yes I have cellulite!) on my thighs.  I hated the way my legs rubbed together (and still do!). It was hard to look in the mirror.

It was hard to go shopping.  Nothing fit right. The lighting was terrible in stores. Bathing suit shopping was something I said with a hiss.  It was hard to find something that made me feel beautiful.

It was hard to walk up the stairs without being out of breath... and if I had to lug groceries up those stairs..... even harder.

It was hard to put a smile on my face sometimes.

It was hard to feel sexy for my husband. 

It. Was. Hard.  (Among a million other reasons).

Now that fitness is a part of my life... all of those "hards" are gone.  Now.....?

It is hard to find the motivation sometimes to get my workout in.

It is hard to skip dessert.

It is hard to peel myself out of bed for my morning workouts.

It is hard to fit my workouts in on days when I am running all over creation.

It is hard.  Period.  Some of my workouts are just plain HARD.  They are physically demanding.  They make me almost puke.  They make me shake and cry and scream.  They are hard.

It is hard to give myself some slack when I feel like I'm putting more effort in than what I am seeing in the mirror.

It is hard to believe that I can do it sometimes.

But I have picked my hard. 

Today, I picked to share a little about why I would rather have THIS hard over THAT hard and hopefully it will inspire you to evaluate which hard you are ready to tackle.  Just pick one.

Pick your hard.